


At Gwanghwamun

by xuhei



Series: For When You Can't Sleep [1]
Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Angst, F/M, associate director jaehyun, bet u have never seen that tag before, im being realistic in the career ladder, lil but of fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-10
Updated: 2018-09-10
Packaged: 2019-07-10 15:12:04
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,524
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15951923
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xuhei/pseuds/xuhei
Summary: Jaehyun isn’t much of a thinker anyway. He’s a doer. He does whatever he wants to do to get the reaction he sees most appropriate. He’s sure everyone loves him and hates him for it. Like at work one time, he fired two of his staff for their attitude towards people. Like when he screamed and shouted at you because he convinced himself you were sleeping with Doyoung and told you to leave before he did something stupid. Like when he showed up here this morning thinking you would actually show up, because you still needed him as badly as him needed you.





	At Gwanghwamun

**Author's Note:**

> because I’m a hoe for kyuhyun, but also because I love him with all my heart and when this song comes on when I’m driving in his back up singer. However this is not about Kyuhyun bc I will not write angst for him. thx

Jaehyun stares at the flowers in his hand. Is he being stupid? Is this a mistake? He’s sure of the latter. He didn’t even know what he was doing, he’s not thinking straight.

I mean, sure, he had this plan and midnight last night after half a bottle of whiskey and somehow woke up still thinking it was a great idea. If sober _and_ drunk Jaehyun could think that it was a good idea then it most definitely would be.

Jaehyun isn’t much of a thinker anyway. He’s a doer. He does whatever he wants to do to get the reaction he sees most appropriate. He’s sure everyone loves him and hates him for it. Like at work one time, he fired two of his staff for their attitude towards people. They hated him but people looked up to him for change.

Like when he screamed and shouted at you because he convinced himself you were sleeping with Doyoung and told you to leave before he did something stupid. Yeah, you hated him, but he was thankful to himself. He was so fucking mad that he had a single bit of rationality left in him which told him to get you away from him ASAP.

Like when he showed up here this morning thinking you would actually show up, because you still needed him as badly as him needed you. He hated himself, but he paid a taxi driver a week’s worth of wages to get here quick.

Who is Jaehyun kidding? He follows Johnny on instagram still. Fortunately Johnny is the only one who didn’t block him on everything after all that happened. That’s how he knew you weren’t even with Doyoung. It was Yuta.

That lying, scheming, selfish son of a bitch who—

“Jaehyun?”

His mind goes blank. He’s not even sure if he’s making this up in his head because no rational part of him (not that there is much rationality left in him) can put together a reason for things actually going his way.

Jaehyun’s mind is _actually_ blank because he had no clue you would actually show up here. He’s just staring, _remembering_ , just how much your voice can make him entire life better.

“What are you…” You stop talking when Jaehyun doesn’t interrupt you. He guessed that you get used to Jung Jaehyun talking over you when you’ve known him since you were kids. He can’t smile. He’s numb. “Jaehyun, you’re uh… crying.”

It takes a moment to process your words. He brings his hand to his cheek, wiping away the wetness on his cheeks as his breathing becomes heavier. “I’m sorry, I…”

“It’s fine,” you tell him. You pull out a pocket of tissues from your pocket at handle them. “I still get pretty bad hayfever around trees so, yeah. Keep them.”

Jaehyun has always been in awe of your kindness. You’re always so sweet, so caring. It’s like everyone meant more to you than _you._ Which never made sense to Jaehyun because _you_ meant everything to him. When he woke up in the morning all he could see was you, when he went to bed all he could think about was you.

And you’d be lying next to him thinking about anyway but you. It was foreign to him. Even all these years after you broke up.

The last time you broke up, anyway.

“Where is Yuta?” Jaehyun asks. His burning jealous rages on beneath any part of him which could ask about you. How pretty you look. How you’re still the love of his life. “Is he that careless to let you out here on your own?”

Jaehyun was _also_ a control freak, just to add to the mix of redeeming qualities he held.

Actually, a control freak was a very broad term. He wasn’t controlling of everything and everyone (despite what he had to do when it came to work, as an associate director), he just didn’t like when people didn’t act like him.

He remembers walking down this path with you a million times, but he’d always be with you because seven and a half years ago a girl was kidnapped here. After that he held you a little tighter in _pure fear_ that would be you next.

So for Yuta to let you walk down here on your own, it makes his nostrils flare and jaw clench.

“Let’s not do this, Jaehyun.”

“Do what?” Jaehyun asks. He takes a step towards you cautiously, though he’s still overpowering. He can’t control his emotions around you. It’s _you._ “Do what? Tell me? Get annoyed that you’re not being giving everything and more by whatever asshole has fallen in love with you now?”

You’ve heard it all before. The first time Jaehyun said it was _assholes you’ve fallen in love with_ and upon correction he changed his wording ever so slightly. “I come here every morning.”

“Why?”

“Does it matter?” You ask.

Jaehyun softens his look. He hopes, he _begs_ it’s because you want the memories of him. He decides not to press on, but to reminisce with you. “Do you remember when we saw that man here who had four chow chows?”

“And each of them had their own colour based on how they acted most of the time,” you finish, smile on your lips. Jaehyun finds a smile on his own, too. “Do you remember when we saw that fortune teller?”

Jaehyun hums. “She was a bit of a fake, don’t you think.”

“Not really,” you turn back to the spot where she had been. “She got pretty much everything about us right.”

“She said we would get married.”

It’s always around the same point when Jaehyun fucks up. He says something like this, like he can’t get over the fact when he broke up with you for the very last time he was _so_ close to asking you to marry him that he had the ring in his pocket and words on the tip of his tongue.

Last time he saw you like this, albeit accidentally when you both were getting food from the store you would buy from in the event where you both were too tired to cook and just wanted something to eat whilst mocking whatever was on the TV, he brought up marrying you.

He got you both kicked out of the store for life because of how annoyed he got, shouting about how Taeyong and Doyoung would never be as good as him whilst you tried so hard to tell him that you’d never even had an interest in them. Nope, you had an interest in Yuta.

That’s what he told himself, but it really wasn’t true. Just like he had eyes for only you, you only had eyes for him.

And a heart which you had given to him long ago without him even realising.

“Yuta’s been in Japan for two months,” you tell Jaehyun. He raises his eyebrow at your words. He doesn’t like the way you say someone else’s name. “I hope you don’t mind but I asked Johnny about you. He told me you moved.”

His heart beats a little quicker when he thinks of you thinking of him. He wonders if you look up to the moon with thoughts of him, too. He wonders if you know he has to move often because he finds something to remind him of you anywhere. “I’m closer to where I work, so it’s alright. I miss where we used to live, though.”

“It was nice there, right?”

Jaehyun nods slowly, movements full of sorrow. _It’s his fault._

“It’s up for sale again,” you tell him, “I just… was walking by the other day. It still looks the same. There’s still the dent in the wall by the lift, no one fixed it yet.”

The thing is, your old apartment where you lived with Jaehyun wasn’t easy to find. You’d have to want to go there to end up there, Jaehyun knows because he used to go all the time and wait for you to go too. That didn’t work.

Jaehyun doesn’t get a chance to comment, as he feels some rain fall onto his face from the grey skies above. He didn’t bring an umbrella, and neither did you as it seems. So he does what he used to do. Grab your hand and pull you to the nearest cover under the walls of Gwanghwamun.

Where you first kissed. Where he told you he loved you. Where he was waiting to finish the rule of three.

Because he was just _so_ in love that he didn’t know what he was saying. When he told you to leave it was because he didn’t want to tell you he hated you. He couldn’t ever hate you, he never thought a bad thing of you. He knew he lost control over his emotions when it came to _you_ and all he ever wanted to do was protect you.

“These are for you,” he tells you, “I didn’t want to give you roses or anything. I always got you roses. Daffodils work too.”

You hum. “For new beginnings, right?”

  


**Author's Note:**

> I dont like posting things under 5000 words but I've decided that I'm going to post all of the shorter writings of mine anyway, since I have so many. I'll be adding them all to a series which you'll see soon as I add more


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